From poring over every “best gifts” guide on the internet to even tapping ChatGPT for ideas, there’s no shortage of help when it comes to picking presents for everyone on your list. But truly exceptional gift-giving is an art form — and, it turns out, a science.

Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes pride themselves on being top-notch gift-givers, known for presents that are both sentimental and surprising. And whether they’re shopping for each other, their daughters or friends and family, there’s a lot of joy in Christmas gifting for the pair. But does anyone ever really know for sure if their gift was well-received? Short of putting your loved ones through a polygraph, maybe not, but Amy and T.J. did put their strategies to the test in conversation with Julian Givi, a University of West Virginia professor who researches the science of giving and receiving gifts. Whether shopping for their daughters or looking for the perfect way to delight one another, Amy and T.J. ask Givi: Are we doing this right?

Making a list and checking it twice

Amy and T.J.’s way:

T.J. Holmes: Christmas shopping is a big, big list. So this is the trick that I always use: I just pay attention all year long. I actually have a draft in my Gmail that says “Christmas gifts.” All year long, I watch, and when Amy and I walk past a store and she sees something she’s crazy about, I take note. I do the same thing with my daughter. I don’t say a word. I just take it down, and then it shows up under the tree.

Amy Robach: The funny thing is that I’ve always done the same thing. I have a notes file that says “Christmas,” and if I get a gift idea from my mom or my kids or T.J., I’ll write it down and it is so helpful. Come November, I’ll think, “Oh my god, I never would have remembered that T.J. had his eye on that thing.” That’s been my go-to.

The expert says

Julian Givi: I recommend to everybody that gift-giving is easy if you pay attention during the year — not just during the two weeks before Christmas.

I’m actually doing a research project that looks at how people come up with gift ideas. And one of the more popular ones we’re seeing is exactly what you both do: making observations throughout the year of what the recipient has told you they like. What’s great about this is that it’s the best of both worlds — the gift matches the recipient's preferences, but it’s still a surprise.

All they want for Christmas is ... everything on this list

Amy and T.J.’s way:

TJH: On that note, Amy’s daughters are young adults — and I guess, my little one is 12, so she’s getting close to this age — and they send her their Christmas lists. Like little kids used to write them to Santa, now her daughters put together a big old list digitally and send it to mama so she can go, check, check, check! And get everything on their lists.

AR: I have links to exactly what they want. And I hate it. Because they’re in college, with limited space and shopping money, they tell me, “We don’t have the luxury of getting gifts we don’t want, so if you’re going to spend money, at least get us what we need or want.” But they want me to surprise them too. This process — click link, purchase; click link, purchase — just feels so transactional. I hate it, but they love it. I’m trying to honor where they are, but I don’t like the idea of it.

The expert says

JG: This is a tension that everyone feels. One of the perils of the gift registry mechanism is that it’s great to get what you like, but you kind of know it’s coming. And that’s a little boring, right? But at the end of the day, the person making a wish list or a wedding registry is probably going to be happier receiving the things they asked for. Just like your kids: They’re probably going to like those things better than what you picked out on your own. As the giver, it’s boring. It doesn’t feel thoughtful. And part of the fun of the holiday season is the lead-up to it: going to the mall, having a cup of coffee, shopping around. But whenever gift shopping becomes a matter of clicking their Amazon links, it takes some of the fun out of the process.

But one theme I noticed in the research review I wrote is that satisfying gifts involve both thoughtfulness and a kind of selflessness, in that you’re really giving the gift out of a desire to please the recipient. Sometimes, people try to be thoughtful, but it’s actually to please themselves. When your children send you links, you might decide, “I don’t want to do this — it doesn’t seem very thoughtful, so let me go to the store and find something better.” Your kids probably aren’t going to like it as much because, even though you’re being thoughtful and putting in effort, you’re not really doing it to please them. So does the thought behind the gift matter? It really comes down to who the thoughtfulness is targeting: the recipient or the giver?

AR: That’s a great point. It’s good to ask yourself: Am I doing this for them or am I doing it for me? I guess that’s why I continue to click the links my daughters send. Because I might not like it, but I know it’s what they really want.

What is the best kind of gift?

Amy and T.J.’s way:

AR: My favorite gifts I’ve given are in the same vein. It's when I’ve given experience gifts that I’ve gotten the best reactions. When my girls were younger, Hamilton was a big thing, and they didn’t think I could get tickets, but I did. When they opened the tickets, they literally jumped up, screamed and cried — they were so excited. It was so fun to see their reactions. And I loved giving T.J. Teddy Swims tickets with a weekend stay in Atlantic City, because he wasn’t expecting it. And yes, it was slightly selfish, but we ended up having one of the best weekends ever. And I felt like it was such a fun gift that you genuinely enjoyed, and we got to experience it together.

TJH: Yeah, I’m glad we got to share my gift. That was a good time because I didn’t want it to myself. Is that a thing? If somebody gives you an experience, do you have to take the person that gave you that gift?

AR: I guess you could have taken someone else, but that would have been weird.

TJH: That would’ve been a rough night at the Holmes house!

I’m talking s***, but I did the same thing. Probably one of my favorite gifts I’ve given, and one of the best reactions I’ve gotten (I knew I was going to get it too), was when I surprised my daughter Sabine with tickets to a Kendrick Lamar and SZA concert. Experience gifts I’ve given have, by far, been the most well-received because not only do you get to open it and get excited about it and anticipate it, but then you get to actually have the moment with that person.

The expert says

JG: There’s actually a wide body of research in the field of consumer behavior, beyond gift-giving, that shows that experiences give us more happiness than material items. And it applies in the gift-giving context too.

For example, if you look at TikTok or Instagram posts of people’s crazy gift reactions are to receiving things like Taylor Swift tickets. But research shows that we don’t give experiences all that often. As consumers, when we’re buying gifts, we are on the side of giving tangible items. But experiences are what turn out to be so great for recipients.

'Tis the season to be sentimental

Amy and T.J.’s way:

TJH: Amy and I are big marathon runners. So we used to each have our medals hanging at our separate places, but because we ran a lot of races together, we had a lot of the same ones. So, last Christmas, before we moved in together, I had all of her medals engraved with her times on the back. But to do it, I had to sneak her medals off her wall at her apartment, and replace them with mine, so she wouldn’t notice hers were gone.

AR: And I didn’t notice!

TJH: It was sweet and simple, and it didn’t take a lot of money, but it took some effort and that was fun.

AR: I remember getting from my daughters — and even giving my own mom when I was a kid — little handwritten coupon books for things like two bathroom cleanings or an hour of vacuuming or free hugs. It was cute and sweet, and I probably still have them somewhere!

TJH: The other sentimental gift I’ve given Amy for our past three Christmases now is a framed photo of the two of us. It started when we first started spending Christmases together, which was after a really difficult time in our careers and everything with ABC. We were constantly being chased by paparazzi, so to lighten things up, I printed out a paparazzi photo of us and framed it. So every Christmas since, she’s gotten one framed paparazzi photo of us, and they’re around the house as a reminder of what we’ve been through and that we can laugh about it now.

AR: Obviously, we had no idea that they were taking pictures of us, and they’re from all around the country — and we look so happy! We’re actually just having a blast, to the point that people accused us of hiring paparazzi to take those photos because they thought we looked too happy. So yes, they’re a reminder of where we’ve been, but also how happy we’ve been throughout it all.

The expert says

JG: Like experiences, sentimental gifts aren’t given all that often, but when they are, they turn out to be really good hits with recipients. And gifts like those medals are an example of selflessness. It seems like you, T.J., did that to make her happy and bring her joy. And Amy appreciated the thoughtfulness in that case.

One of the first research projects I ever did looked at giver and recipient preferences for sentimental gifts vs. more superficial ones, and we found that, while givers err on the side of giving these more superficial items, recipients are more open to sentimental gifts. One of the best gifts I ever gave was actually something handwritten to my dad. Of course, if you go around giving every single person a handwritten gift for every occasion, you’re probably going to be known as a cheap person rather than a good gift-giver! But generally, sentimental gifts are well-received.

In consumer behavior research, we see that most purchases and gifts are enjoyable when we first get them, but become less so over time. For example, when you first get an iPhone, you like it a lot, but that excitement eventually wears off. We call this hedonic adaptation. But with sentimental gifts, a recipient's appreciation for the item starts out high and stays high, or even increases, over time.